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Is it a girl or a boy?! I'm sure most of you will scroll down to see what colour the powder is, but I wanted to share a little behind why we decided to do a gender reveal this time around. Most of you know that I had a traumatic c-section with Juliette. (You can read about it here). We didn't find out the sex of the baby with her, and I had hopes to find out as she plopped onto my chest in the home birth that we had planned. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. 

"Baby girl. 7lbs 6 oz," from an unknown male voice in a monotone voice. That is what I woke up from general anesthesia to. In that very moment, I was relieved that we both made it out, but I think there was a small part of me that was angry that I didn't get to be the one to find out. This was the first
"first" that I felt like I had lost. I wasn't the first to hear her cry, or the first to see or touch her. Those things were inevitable as I was not conscious.

However, I was sad that I didn't get to find out her sex before someone accidentally blurted it out to me... I feel like that could have been something that could have been saved for the mother after a traumatic c-section. I don't harbour any ill feelings because I know it was not done with ill intent, but I still felt disappointed. This pregnancy, I wanted to reclaim the surprise that I had lost.

Along comes Jaleesa Matteaazi Photography. Initially, I was a little hesitant to find out the sex of the baby, but once I decided to, she planned a little gender reveal shoot for us! We had to wait for the stars to align (due to obstacles like the fire ban, colds, and weather).... but the wait was OH-SO-WORTH it! 

I met Jaleesa through my best friend, and we've grown to become part of a mama tribe. She only started photography a few months ago, and it's been such an honour to see her photography flourish and bloom. Yesterday, our family stood with our eyes closed for 5 minutes, completely vulnerable as we were about to get powder thrown on us by Tara Teng. (The canister wasn't popping open so it had to be thrown on us LOL). As vulnerable as I was in front of her camera, I was completely comfortable because I knew that her hands were on that camera. Jaleesa is magic and made all my insecurities melt away. And no, this isn't a sponsored post. I just wanted to iterate that in this very moment, I was almost as vulnerable as I was on that recovery table as the unknown male voice said "baby girl" in his monotone voice. But Jaleesa worked her magic, and as you can see in the photo below, it really was magic. 

Thank you Jaleesa, for helping me reclaim this experience for me.  Go follow her on Instagram @JaleesaMatteazziPhotography for more magic!